(no subject)

Deviances anticipated
Triple-X or at least R-rated
San Tropez, the middle of May
There's no tan lines tonight
No tan lines tonight,

But trench it, rev it
It's time to share spit
in the sauna, we'll become close
with ya, oh yeah!

Princess with a cold killer instinct
Winked at me from across the ice rink
Pleather uppers soft for the spins
But she gives it away without a rest

Language buried her in the motherland
Language barrier in the Pathan grain
Yeah, oh yeah!

You will be my candy striper
Junior Leaguer, bedpan wiper
Convalescent enema essence
I live to be gray, I live to be gray!

The LJ Pace

This here Livejournal is as dead as ever it seems, or I maybe I just haven't kept up with grabbing new and participating pals. But one thing is certain, I miss the pace of this place.

The Twitterati and Facebookers of the present shoot so much garbage at me now its impossible to keep up. Any attempt at filtering it at all seems futile. I'm just as guilty as anyone else, but I often wonder how much I would really miss if I didn't spend several hours a day endlessly trying to keep up with it all.

Its more than just the pace, its the time and energy people used to have to take to come up with something, anything meaningful. Is there any redeeming value to this new diarrhea sputtering Internet anymore? I'm so far off in this tangent toilet now I've very quickly forgotten that there actually might have been.

Horse Cock Phepner

"Alright, Harold, start up that mower! Someday I'm gonna get me a ranch down in Buckeye. I'm gonna breed jealousy and rage. I'm gonna get me a girlfriend that grows clear hair and name her Horse Cock Phepner. Then I'll take her daughter's polaroid and introduce her to my prophet toy. I'm gonna take her picture and hold it up like a mirror to every girl and boy. I'll change her into a welldigger by day and a Calvinist by night. She'll be predestined to become an evil Jesus and kill every witch on sight. I'll take her down to the melon patch for all the folks to see, that she's as ripe as a cantalope and as invisible as me. Oh she'll buck and snort and chew her nails and holler up a storm . . . the wind will blow the clouds on in and the cumulus will form. The rain will make the rhubarb grow and the sun will make them think, then I'll pour myself some Wesson Oil and sit back and have a drink. Now I had a child once, I named him pork and beans, so he'd grow up in a hostile environment and fulfill all his parents' dreams. Yeah, I saw Dan Blocker in Playdead magazine with a soaking wet brassiere on. Your horse knows me. I had a turkey that drowned like that once. They shoot horses, don't they? WAKE UP SAM! THEY'RE PLAYING CHOPIN!"

Tops of 2008

Once again this year I’m not going to rank anything but just list it out — you can see a big correlation between the artists I saw live and the records they put out. Enjoy!

Top Albums:

Abe Vigoda - Skeleton
Deerhunter - Microcastle/Weird Era Cont
Flying Lotus - Los Angeles
Gang Gang Dance - Saint Dymphna
Lil Wayne - Tha Carter III
Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - Dig Lazarus Dig
Santogold - s/t
Silver Jews - Lookout Mountain Lookout Sea
Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks - Real Emotional Trash
Vivian Girls - s/t

Top Shows Attended:

Boredoms, 9:30 Club
Deerhunter/Times New Viking, Election Night, Black Cat
Keren Ann/Dean & Britta, Black Cat
Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, 9:30 Club
No Age/Abe Vigoda, Rock and Roll Hotel
Pitchfork Music Festival, Chicago IL
Quintron at Black Cat & Civilian Arts Center
Silver Jews, Black Cat
Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks, 9:30 Club
The Homosexuals, Velvet Lounge

Top Films:

American Teen
Burn After Reading
Gonzo: Life and Work of Hunter s Thompson
In Bruges
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist
Pineapple Express
Son of Rambow
The Dark Knight

x-posted to Trigger Cut


Every single time a repair guy comes to the house to fix something, without fail they ask about whether or not I'm a musician or I have a band.

I mean obviously there are drums and guitars scattered around the house, but its as if they all wanted to be in a band or something, except now they're replacing my toilet.

The maintenance guys at Westover wanted CDs so I gave some to 'em free of charge, because I'm a nice rocker.

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta

And now, a word from the president!
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Gettin voted into the white house
Everything lookin good to the people of the world
But the mafia family is my boss
So every now and then I owe a favor gettin down
Like lettin a big drug shipment through
And send em to the poor community
So we can bust you know who
So voters of the world keep supportin me
And I promise to take you very far
Other leaders better not upset me
Or Ill send a million troops to die at war
To all you republicans, that helped me win
I sincerely like to thank you
Cuz now I got the world swingin from my nuts
And damn it feels good to be a gangsta

Chopped N Skrewed

Have you ever seen
A dime piece all alone at the bar (bar-bar)
Straight out of a magazine
And you just want to let her know who you are (are-are)
So you say let me buy you a drink
Or a little conversation
If that's what you want to do (do-do)
And she said love is about to end
And you said y dont u come to my crib
And She said I can't leave my friends

Now you've offically been chopped and screwed

Have you ever been in the VIP room
Of your favorite street club (club-club)
And you got a shawty on you
Kissing on your neck
Making you feel like she so in love (love-love)
Now you done grabbed you a couple a drinks
And you feeling like it's about time to cuddle up (up-up)
And you said shawty what's really up
And she takes big sip out yo cup
And she said it'll be 60 bucks

Now you've officially been chopped and screwed
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